When You’re Told ‘Everything Is Fine’ — But You Know It’s Not: 3 Steps to Feeling Seen During Perimenopause

Feeling Dismissed, Unseen, and Left With More Questions Than Answers? You’re Not Alone.

Have you ever walked out of a doctor’s appointment feeling more confused than when you walked in?

You know something feels off in your body. You don’t feel like yourself anymore. But your labs are “normal,” your doctor says everything looks fine, and maybe someone has even suggested that it’s all in your head.

That experience can feel incredibly discouraging.

When this happens, many women feel anxious, worn down, and exhausted — not just physically, but emotionally too. You may feel tired all the time, achy in ways that don’t make sense, or like you’re living in an 80-year-old body even though you’re only in your early 40s. You’re doing your best to keep up with life, but something feels wrong, and no one seems to be listening.

Here’s the thing — it’s not just you.

I hear this all the time.  In social media groups, my coaching workshops, community health fairs, friends – and my own firsthand experience.

For generations, women haven’t been told what to expect when it comes to perimenopause and menopause. These topics were often avoided or brushed aside, and certainly not all, but many healthcare providers still receive very little training in menopause care. That leaves so many women feeling unseen, disbelieved, and unsure of what to do next. Over time, that can spill into relationships, careers, and even a sense of identity.

And yet, it doesn’t have to stay this way.

When you’re finally heard and believed, there is so much relief. You begin to feel calmer, more confident, and less alone. You start to trust yourself again and take steps toward feeling more like you.

In this post, I’m going to share three steps you can start putting into practice today to bring peace of mind and a sense of control back into your life — even if you’ve been told you’re “too young” for perimenopause or that everything looks fine on paper.

First, let me say this clearly: I believe you.

Here’s what you need to know about perimenopause — and how to move forward with support.

Step 1: Take the Time to Be Fully Heard — and Truly Understood

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Perimenopause is not a diagnosis you can always confirm with a single lab test or a clear start date. It is a transition — and transitions rarely follow neat timelines or textbook definitions. This is one of the main reasons so many women feel dismissed. Their symptoms are real, but they don’t always show up in ways that are easy to measure.

That’s why the first and most important step is slowing down and creating space for your full story.

When we work together inside Sacred Seeds Health Coaching, we begin with a long, unrushed conversation — often an hour or more — where you are invited to share what you’ve been experiencing in your own words. Not just what hurts, but how it’s affecting your day-to-day life. We talk about your energy, sleep, mood, focus, relationships, work, and sense of self. We explore what has changed, when it started, and what you miss most about how you used to feel.

We also take a detailed health history and review any labs or medical reports you already have. Rather than using those results to dismiss your symptoms, we use them as one piece of a much larger picture. Because your experience matters just as much as the numbers on a page.

One of the tools we use is the Wheel of Health, which helps us look at how your symptoms ripple into every area of your life — physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, social, and professional – even financial.  Many women are surprised to see how interconnected everything truly is. What starts as fatigue or anxiety often affects confidence, boundaries, productivity, and relationships.

This step matters because feeling heard is not a luxury — it’s a foundation.

When your story is honored, you begin to trust yourself again. You stop second-guessing your intuition and start to see that your body isn’t betraying you — it’s communicating with you.

One client, Alanna, described it this way:

“With her kindness and compassionate listening, positivity and acceptance of me for who I am, I felt heard and understood.”

That feeling — of finally being listened to without judgment or dismissal — is often the first moment things begin to shift.

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Step 2: Create a Personalized Plan That Reflects Your Priorities

Perimenopause is a multi-layered experience. Hormones, nervous system health, stress, sleep, nourishment, movement, and emotional well-being are all intertwined. Trying to address everything at once can feel overwhelming and often leads to giving up altogether.

Instead, we focus on what matters most right now.

Together, we look at how your symptoms are affecting specific areas of your life and identify what feels most urgent or impactful to you. Maybe it’s crushing fatigue that’s making it hard to get through the workday. Maybe it’s anxiety that feels unfamiliar and unsettling. Or maybe it’s brain fog, body pain, or the feeling that you no longer recognize yourself.

From there, we co-create a plan that supports the version of health you actually want — not a generic checklist or one-size-fits-all protocol. We talk through what feeling better would realistically look like for you and decide where to begin.

This is also where we intentionally keep things manageable. Small, thoughtful changes are often far more powerful than dramatic overhauls. We brainstorm together, experiment gently, and choose steps that feel doable within your real life — not just on paper.

This approach builds confidence and momentum. Instead of feeling like you’re constantly falling short, you start to notice small wins. You begin to feel more capable, more grounded, and more connected to your body’s signals.

Most importantly, this step reminds you that you are an active participant in your health — not a passive recipient of opinions or advice that don’t quite fit.

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 Step 3: Stay Supported, Adjust Along the Way, and Build Trust With Your Body

This is where the real work — and real transformation — begins.

Perimenopause is not something you “figure out” once and then move on from. Your body continues to change, and what works one month may need adjusting the next. That’s why ongoing support is so important.

Inside Sacred Seeds Health Coaching, we meet regularly — weekly or every other week — for 30 to 45 minutes. These check-ins give you space to reflect on what you’ve noticed, what feels better, and what still feels challenging. Together, we look at what’s working, what isn’t, and what might need to shift.

There’s no judgment here — only curiosity and care. If something doesn’t help, that information is valuable. It helps us refine your plan, so it stays aligned with your body and your life.

You’re also not left alone between sessions. Questions, concerns, and moments of uncertainty (and celebrations!) are all part of this process, and having access to support can make all the difference. Instead of spiraling or giving up, you’re able to pause, check in, and move forward with reassurance.

Over time, this steady support helps you rebuild trust — not just in the process, but in yourself. You learn to listen to your body with compassion rather than fear. You gain confidence in making decisions about your health. And you begin to feel more like yourself again, not because you’re forcing your body to cooperate, but because you’re working with it.

This step is about integration, consistency, and remembering that you don’t have to navigate this transition alone.

You Might Be Wondering…

Do I need to be officially “in perimenopause” to work with you?

Not at all.

Because there’s no clear start date and symptoms can show up even when labs look normal, Sacred Seeds Health Coaching focuses on symptom-based care. If your body is telling you something has changed, that’s reason enough to seek support.

You might also be wondering why coaching would help when doctors haven’t.

Here’s what one client, Alina, shared:

“Karen’s approach goes beyond mere goal setting; it’s like having a supportive friend guiding you through life’s challenges. She provides practical strategies and emotional support. If you’re looking for someone who blends structure with heart, Karen is the genuine support you’ve been searching for.”

Let’s Bring This All Together

Feeling dismissed and unseen can leave you stuck in confusion and self-doubt, potentially spending years not feeling like yourself. But when you pause, listen deeply to your body, and take intentional steps with support, everything begins to shift.

By being heard, creating a plan that reflects your priorities, and staying supported along the way, you move out of survival mode and back into trust — trust in yourself, your body, AND your future.

You deserve to feel seen. You deserve to feel confident. And you deserve to feel like yourself again!

Your Next Step

If this post made you feel understood, I gently invite you to take the next step.

You can complete a short application to explore working together through Sacred Seeds Health Coaching. Because it’s so important to feel comfortable with your coach, our first call is always free.

You can find the application link here: https://l.bttr.to/T40UZ