From Feeling Lost and Dismissed to Creating the Support I Wish I Had: For the woman who feels dismissed, exhausted, and not quite like herself—and knows there just has to be a better way

First things First. You are Welcome Here. You Are Not Crazy. You Are Not Broken. And You Are Not Alone.

If you’ve found yourself staring at the ceiling at 3a.m., exhausted but wired…If you’ve walked into a room and forgotten why…If your body aches, your patience is thinner, and your confidence feels shaky…

If your personal and professional relationships are suffering…

And yet your doctor tells you, “Your labs are normal. This is just part of aging.”

Then this post (and quiet space) is for YOU.

Because what you’re feeling is real. And you deserve more than confusion and dismissal from health care systems that are supposed to help you feel better.

As a former Bone Marrow Transplant RN, I was well trained to advocate for patients and their families who were navigating complex life-altering health challenges — but nothing, and I mean nothing prepared me for how difficult it would be to advocate for myself during perimenopause.

I would like to share with you why I created the support I wish I had during my own perimenopause journey — and how it’s now helping women in midlife feel like themselves again.

The Women I Serve (Maybe It’s even You)

I work with women in midlife who are going through perimenopause and feel dismissed by the healthcare system… isolated in their experience… and longing to feel like themselves again.

Some of them have been afraid to go to the doctor at all. They've pushed through chronic fatigue, joint and muscle pain, anxiety, and brain fog. They tell themselves that they should be grateful. They have beautiful families, careers and responsibilities. So why in the world do they feel like they’re falling apart?

Others have done everything “right.” They’ve gone from doctor to doctor. They’ve been told their labs are normal. They’ve been told this is just part of aging. And they leave those appointments feeling discouraged, angry, confused, and scared.

They wake up tired before their day even starts. They’re exhausted during the day… yet wired at night. They struggle to concentrate on conversations they once enjoyed. They unintentionally miss appointments or important meetings and feel embarrassed for not 'having it together'. They wonder if others notice that they’re not quite “themselves". "Some even quietly fear, “Is this the beginning of dementia?”

They stop enjoying grocery shopping, carpooling, their loved social events. They feel too anxious to show up at work. Physical intimacy changes. Emotional connections fade and self-doubt and a sense of hopelessness for ever feeling like themselves again become the new norm.

And underneath all of that is a quiet and aching question:

“Is this just how my life is going to be from now on?”

Why This Work Is So Personal For Me

Before I was a Women’s Menopause Health Coach, I was a Bone Marrow Transplant RN. I am also a wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter — and a perimenopause survivor.

I went through a horrific perimenopause transition.

I lost so many irreplicable years of my life not feeling like myself, existing in a fog of chronic pain, anxious thoughts, exhaustion and as you might imagine — felt hopeless. My marriage suffered. I wasn’t emotionally or physically present with my spouse or children the way I wanted to be. And I remember thinking:

“Is this forever?” and “who will take care of my family if I can’t?”

I also remember how hard it was for me to admit I needed help.  As a nurse, a spouse, a mother, a PTSA volunteer and Girls Scout leader, I had been known as and self-identified as ‘the helper’ for years.  But what I realized later about normalizing asking for help and prioritizing my own needs, was how good it truly felt to receive help AND feel less isolated. By opening up and asking people to help me, I was able to give myself the space, self-compassion and PERMISSION that I desperately needed to heal.  In doing so, I changed my old narrative from “I am a helper” to "I can help others AND it is both ok and necessary to ask for help, too.”  Those deeply engrained beliefs and thoughts for my brain to rewire took time, repetition and support from my own therapist and coach, who I am eternally grateful for.

One of my most grateful outcomes from learning to ask and receive help ~ a stranger at the time, handed me an essential oil bottle during a moment of panic at the co-op we were both volunteer teaching at and she quickly became (and is still to this day) a very close friend of mine. Those vulnerable and painful moments in my life that brought me to my knees also allowed opportunities for new and authentic relationships to be born. I just had to learn how to work through my fear and shame to ask for it.

I was also one of many middle-aged women to be tossed around the healthcare system for years before I found the right providers to help me. From that experience, I know what it’s like to feel scared, isolated, and dismissed. I know what it’s like to feel like you’re losing yourself — and no one can explain why.

And I also know what it feels like to finally find answers.

The Moment Everything Shifted

My turning point wasn’t just about me.

It was also about my daughters.

I remember thinking: I do not want them to suffer like this. I do not want them to stay quiet about their symptoms. I do not want them to feel pressure to keep powering through. And I sure do not want them to lose years of their lives waiting for someone to listen like I did.

I wanted to help put an end to the stigma that has been passed down through generations — the silence around menopause. The outdated and infuriating idea that women are supposed to endure it quietly.

Through my own experience and having the privilege of hearing stories of others through my work and social circles have helped me recognize firsthand how perimenopause isn’t just physiological. It’s cognitive. Emotional. Relational — it touches every part of a woman’s life.

And women deserve support for all of it.

That’s when I knew: I had to create something different.

What Makes This Support Different

My work isn’t about pushing harder. It's not about restricting or counting calories.

In fact, many women come to me thinking they need to exercise more, push through joint and muscle pain, restrict food, or “be stronger.”

When often what their body is actually asking for… is gentleness.

In our work together, we:

• Take a conscious look at your whole life picture

• Decide what needs attention first

• Support your nervous system

• Add nourishing practices instead of constantly taking things away

• Focus on building energy, not draining it further

  
  

Many clients are surprised to discover that adding specific foods (instead of restricting more) improves energy, focus, and sleep and that calming the nervous system reduces pain and anxiety. That they may be able to stop taking expensive medications and being tossed from doctor to doctor. That small changes can and do create BIG impact.

How I Support You

I currently offer:

1:1 Private Coaching

Personalized telehealth sessions tailored to your specific experience; Not a one-size-fits-all plan. You receive support between sessions whether it’s a quick question, needing help working through challenges (because life can throw us curveballs anytime) or celebrating the good stuff — your successes!  No waiting for weeks on end to get what you need here.

All sessions are offered via telehealth (Zoom or telephone) to support accessibility. You can meet with me from the comfort of your couch, your car, your office, or on a walk. I know what it’s like to be unable to leave the house and show up to an in-person appointment due to feeling out of energy from chronic pain and anxiety or the temptation to cancel because you're swamped at work and can't step away.

Accessibility matters deeply to me.  You can show up from wherever you are, even on your hardest days.

Monthly Virtual Perimenopause Roundtable (coming soon!)

A space where you realize you are not the only one. Where symptoms are normalized, not dismissed. Where conversations are honest and compassionate and real.

Group Coaching in the community

Community-supported learning and healing opportunities with other health providers have been powerful for my clients and participants. They help women recognize they are not alone—and offer the chance to explore how different healing modalities can support them on their path.

I’ve witnessed so much connection and relief in spaces like pelvic floor health workshops with PhysioCare Physical Therapy, as well as in perimenopause circles focused on slowing down and “coming home” to oneself at Duvall Yoga Garden.

Our standing-room-only Perimenopause Roundtable gatherings have also been deeply meaningful experiences.

There is something powerful and real that happens when women come together in honest, supportive spaces. Not only for participants—but for the presenters, too.

It is in these shared moments that something softens. Validation settles in. And the reminder lands again and again:

You are not alone in this.

What former clients have had to say about the support they received

The feedback and comeback stories I get to hear from clients experiencing deeper understanding of themselves and their experience gives great purpose and meaning to my work. When women can begin to identify and communicate their own needs and ask for help, we know our work together is making a difference.  To top it off, I know from both experience and feedback from clients that their healing has a positive and powerful ripple effect on their families and in their communities. And in my mind, that means everyone wins.

As one client shared:

“With her kindness and compassionate listening, positivity and acceptance of me for who I am, I felt heard and understood.” – Alanna T.

Another said:

“Karen has such great techniques to hone in on the small changes that can make a big impact.” – M.B.A.

And this:

“Her gentle questioning allows me to navigate towards my own wisdom.” – Michelle P.

And one of my favorites:

“Karen’s approach goes beyond mere goal setting; it's like having a supportive friend guiding you through life's challenges… offering practical strategies and emotional support.” – Alina

And that’s exactly what I aim to provide here.

What Becomes Possible

When women feel seen and validated, everything begins to shift.

They feel:

• More confident and less ashamed

• Less confused and more in control

• More energized during the day

• Able to sleep at night

• Less afraid something is “seriously wrong”

• More emotionally connected to themselves and their loved ones

  
  

Self-confidence returns, relationships improve and even joy comes back.

They begin to recognize themselves again.

The Future I See

I envision a world where women’s midlife health is not dismissed.

Where healthcare providers collaborate more and think "this could be perimenopause!" when all labs look normal. Where online access removes barriers for rural women or those who cannot take time off work. Where more women can speak openly about brain fog, anxiety, joint pain, libido changes, and emotional shifts without shame and embarrassment.

The more we normalize these conversations, the less isolated women will feel.

And I am wholeheartedly committed to being part of that change.

If ANY of This Sounds Like You…

Two of the biggest mistakes I personally made were waiting too long to ask for help and then taking my primary care provider’s initial assessment that my labs were normal so I was likely just “worn out” and to get better sleep.

In doing so, I lost irreplaceable years of my life...and the people I loved most felt it too.

I don’t want that for you.

If any of this feels familiar…If you’re ready to work with someone who truly understands…If you’re ready to feel like yourself again…

My door is open.

You can schedule your first FREE visit right here.

Or

I warmly invite you to join our mailing list to stay connected and receive weekly emails from me with insights and tips to help you feel more in attuned with your body's changing needs and feel like yourself again. To be first in line with keeping up to date with workshops, resources, community events, speaking engagements and my musings all written with the intention of supporting you with navigating your experience with the complex world of perimenopause.

In this space, I hope you feel seen, less isolated and will be inspired to both turn toward and tend to your personal health needs – sooner than later and without guilt or shame as you make your own unique transition toward menopause.

And please know this:

You are not broken.

You are not imagining this.

And you do not have to go through it alone.