When Your Body Feels Unpredictable: 3 Gentle Ways to Feel More Steady During Perimenopause

Introduction

If you’ve been uneasily thinking, “I don’t recognize myself lately,” you’re not alone.

When your body starts behaving in ways you didn’t expect — anxiety that seems to come out of nowhere, crushing fatigue that rest doesn’t quite fix, moments of brain fog or emotional reactivity — it can feel unsettling and even frightening. Many women describe it as feeling disconnected from their bodies, unsure of what to trust, and constantly bracing for the next symptom.

This can often show up in small but exhausting ways. You may need extra time to mentally prepare for social plans or work meetings that you used to feel elated to participate in. You might feel tired all day but wired at night. You likely hesitate to ask for help because you don’t want to look incapable or scattered and potentially lose that job or credibility you worked so hard over the years to build. You may also worry someone will notice your fogginess or mood shifts risk harming relationships with people that you love most in this world.  So, you push yourself to keep going, then feel guilty when your body asks for rest.  Then, at the end of the day, you go to bed hoping tomorrow will feel easier — but without knowing how to make that happen.

If this resonates with you, it’s so important that you know this isn’t a personal failure. Many of us live in a culture that expects bodies to be consistent and dependable. Except here’s the thing, you’re not a ‘human doing’, you are a human being.

Symptoms that many women in midlife experience that don’t fit neatly into a box are often dismissed by the medical system as stress, aging, or something to just “power through.”  When I was a young nursing student in the AirForce ROTC program, my superiors referred to this "powering through" as “No Pain, No Gain” particularly when we were doing exercise drills. Now, after healing from years of being caught up in a rigid hustle culture, recognizing that pushing through pain does no longer works for me due to doing my own mid-life healing work and learning to approach life in a gentler way, I now know that I cannot in good conscience, support what I know firsthand doesn’t work for myself or many other women when it comes to transitioning toward menopause.

Many women also experience medical appointments that are often rushed and short. Hormone education is limited. Most of us were never taught what perimenopause actually looks like (even those of us in the fields of healthcare), so when anxiety, brain fog, joint pain, or unexplained exhaustion show up, it can feel confusing, scary and downright isolating.

Add in the realities of midlife — work responsibilities, family care, relationships, so many financial pressures — there’s very little supportive space to slow down or experiment with what your body needs now.  So, it makes so much sense that when symptoms appear, many women can feel especially destabilized.

Yet, it doesn’t have to be that way.  When you understand what’s happening and have support responding to it, things begin to soften. Symptoms feel less random and less alarming. You stop reacting in panic and start responding with care and deeper wisdom. Rest becomes something that restores you rather than something you feel guilty about. And over time, trust in yourself begins to return.

In this post, I’m sharing three gentle, supportive strategies that can help you feel more stabilized and more at home in your body during perimenopause. Please know these strategies aren’t about fixing yourself — they’re about learning your changing needs are normal and meeting yourself right where you are at.

Let’s take this one step at a time.

Strategy #1: Redefine Productivity Around Your Capacity, Not Output

One of the quiet sources of stress during perimenopause is trying to live up to expectations that no longer fit.

Many women are still measuring themselves by how much they get done, how much they can or can't handle, or how closely they resemble their past selves physically and mentally.  When our capacity shifts — as it naturally does during the menopause transition — that old measuring stick can feel especially harsh and unforgiving.

So, redefining your productivity starts with acknowledging that your energy, focus, and resilience may fluctuate more than they used to. Instead of planning your days around long to-do lists, you begin planning around your actual energy windows.

What this can look like for you in the real world:

• Noticing when you feel most clear or steady during the day and implementing your most important tasks there

• Separating what truly needs to happen from what can wait (and giving yourself permission to let it wait)

• Allowing yourself to do fewer things with more care and intention

• Building in recovery time after emotionally or cognitively demanding activities

  
  

These shifts work because much of the stress women experience comes from trying to meet yesterday’s expectations with today’s capacity. Yet, when effort lines up with your reality, your nervous system can have a chance to relax. Burnout becomes less likely AND perimenopause symptoms often feel more manageable and less intense.

Many women describe this shift as deeply relieving.

There’s a new sense of respect for their bodies and a feeling that life is becoming more sustainable and manageable again —even joyful (!) instead of merely an endless list to check off and something to endure.

A gentle reframe for you to hold onto: Productivity isn’t about how much you do — it’s about how well your life supports you.

Inside Sacred Seeds, I help women take an honest, compassionate look at their current capacity and redesign their days in ways that support steadiness rather than depletion. This isn’t about lowering any standards — it’s about creating conditions where you can actually function, feel well and enjoy your life again.

Strategy #2: Build Body Literacy Instead of Trying to Control Your Body

When symptoms feel unpredictable, it’s natural to want control. Many women respond by tightening routines, pushing harder, or becoming frustrated with their bodies for not cooperating.

But control often increases tension and understanding creates calm.

Body literacy is about learning how your body communicates — especially during a time of hormonal fluctuation. Perimenopause doesn’t look the same for everyone, and symptoms often change over time. Learning what’s happening (and why) can bring a surprising amount of reassurance that can reduce the intensity of symptoms — even make them subside altogether.

This might include:

• Learning what perimenopause actually is and how fluctuating hormones can affect mood, sleep, energy, focus, and stress tolerance

• Tracking your symptoms, sleep, energy, mood, and stress with curiosity rather than judgment

• Noticing specific patterns, triggers, and supports instead of labeling days as “good” or “bad”

  
  

This works because unpredictability is often what creates fear. When you can say, “This makes sense,” symptoms stop feeling random or threatening. You begin to trust that your body is responding to real signals — not betraying you.

Many women describe this phase as empowering and calming. There’s a lot of relief in realizing you’re not broken — you’re in a transition that can be understood AND supported.

A helpful reframe: It's not about trying to control your body — It's about learning its new language.

Inside Sacred Seeds programs, I spend time helping you make sense of your unique patterns so you can respond with care instead of urgency. One client shared:

“I feel more present and connected to myself. Less foggy. I’ve been giving myself grace with food and not feeling deprived. I feel satisfied instead of restricted.” — Jennifer

Strategy #3: Create Consistent, Personal Support

Perimenopause can be one of the most confusing transitions a woman experiences — not only because symptoms change, but because the guidance often feels fragmented or insufficient.

Many women have had the experience of finally working up the courage to ask for help, sadly only to leave an appointment feeling rushed, dismissed, or told everything looks “normal.”  And unfortunately, when that happens repeatedly, it’s easy to start doubting yourself or minimizing what you’re experiencing.

Consistent, personal support changes the entire landscape of this season.

This kind of support looks like working with someone who understands that perimenopause is not a one- size-fits-all experience and has the time and the expertise to see and integrate that whole picture — not just isolated symptoms. It means having space to talk through what’s actually happening in your day-to-day life, not just what shows up on a lab report. It means being believed, feeling heard and gently encouraged to make small changes that can have a big impact on your ability to getting back to feeling like yourself again.

Practically, this support can include:

• Having longer, unhurried conversations where nothing feels “too small” or “off topic” Sessions for many women range from 30-45 minutes; sometimes an hour if needed.

• Developing a plan that can shift as symptoms evolve, rather than trying to find one perfect fix

• Being guided through decisions instead of feeling like you have to figure everything out on your own

• Learning how to advocate for yourself in medical settings with more clarity and confidence. Sessions can include brainstorming a list of important questions for your primary care provider that include language they need to hear in order to understand how they can best meet your needs.

  
  
  
  

Why this works: Perimenopause affects many systems at once — hormonal, nervous, emotional, relational. When support is consistent, your nervous system doesn’t have to stay on high alert. You can begin to relax and not constantly wonder if you’re missing something or doing something wrong. Over time, steadiness replaces vigilance and widely swinging nervous systems.

Women often notice that with support, follow-through becomes gentler AND more realistic. Instead of trying to overhaul everything at once, changes happen gradually and sustainably, making those changes feel manageable because they honor their new capacity.  And we also leave supportive room to adjust when life tries to hijack their best intentions — because women in midlife know it always does!

How this feels:

Supported.

Less alone.

More confident in your next step — EVEN when you don’t have all the answers yet.

A grounding reframe to return to: You don’t need more willpower — you need informed, steady support.

Inside Sacred Seeds, support is intentionally designed to feel spacious AND human. Sessions are longer, with regular check-ins and access to human support between appointments — because life doesn’t pause between sessions, and googling support on the internet or using AI is no match when it comes to having an authentic human-to-human conversations and relationships. In each session, we talk through what came up since the last visit, troubleshoot barriers in real time, and take the invaluable time to acknowledge and celebrate progress, EVEN when that progress feels subtle.

Sacred Seeds also works in partnership with your primary care provider.  My ultimate goal is to help you make sense of recommendations and feel confident with translating them into everyday choices that fit your real life — not an idealized or textbook version of it! Additionally, this kind of partnership often helps women feel more confident and prepared when they walk into medical appointments, knowing their questions matter AND their experiences are valid.

Above all, this support is designed to remind you that you are not meant to carry this alone. Having the right coach alongside you can be the difference between constantly bracing yourself and slowly settling back into self-confidence and self-trust — trust with your body, your choices, and that you know ultimately yourself best.

Bringing It All Together

If you take one thing from this post, I hope you will let it be this: feeling out of control doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body is changing and asking you for a different kind of care.

By gently redefining productivity, building understanding of your changing body, and surrounding yourself with consistent and trusted support, it becomes possible to feel steadier, more connected, and more confident in your daily life.

This season can be disorienting and lonely for so many women — AND there is also so much relief on the other side of that confusion. You deserve support while you find your footing again.

Your Next Step

If feeling more steady and less overwhelmed sounds supportive to you, I warmly invite you to fill out a short application to book your free call here.

We can talk about what you’re experiencing, what resonated most here, and what kind of support would feel helpful to you right now. Perimenopause can last for years — and you don’t have to spend that time feeling unnecessarily unsteady, disconnected from yourself or others you love.

You’re allowed to feel supported and confident in this life-altering transition, and you don’t have to figure it out alone.