When You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Anymore: A Gentle Guide for Women in Perimenopause

Have you ever paused in the middle of your day and thought, “I just don’t recognize myself anymore” — and felt a lump rise in your throat?

You used to feel:

• Capable

• Motivated

• Sharp.

Life felt manageable. You were always bringing your ‘A-game’ to everything and now you may feel flat or overwhelmed… anxious without knowing why… or like you’re constantly trying to catch up to a version of yourself that sadly feels like it’s slipping further and further away.

Many women tell me they miss — and grieve — who they used to be. The woman who could handle things. Who didn’t need so much rest. Who didn’t feel emotionally raw or easily overstimulated.

There’s often guilt, too. Guilt for resting. Guilt for snapping at the people you love. Guilt for not being who you once were. And that guilt - like the fatigue can be crushing.

That guilt can show up in quiet but heavy ways:

• You wake up tired before the day even starts

• You feel exhausted yet wired at night

• You struggle to concentrate on things (and the people) you once enjoyed

• You worry something is seriously wrong with you

• You drop balls and feel embarrassed

• You’re afraid others notice you’re not quite “yourself”

• You may even be closely familiar with a loved one who has dementia and think to yourself, "is this the beginning of that road for me, too?"

  
  

Here’s something I want you to hear clearly: this is not a personal failure. Nor is it a life sentence or guaranteed precursor to a dementia diagnosis.

We live in a world that rewards constant output — speed, productivity, doing more with less. At the same time, most women were never taught what perimenopause actually is or how it can affect sleep, mood, focus, energy, and relationships. When symptoms start, many women assume something is wrong with them.

And when tests come back “normal,” it can leave you doubting your own experience and intuition.

But what if nothing is wrong with you?

What if this is merely your body asking to be met differently?

What if life could feel manageable again — not by becoming who you used to be, but by learning how to care for who you are now?

Below are three gentle, doable strategies that help women feel more like themselves again during perimenopause — without pushing harder or fixing themselves.

Let's pause, take a breath and walk through this together.

Strategy #1: Stop Forcing Your Body — Start Listening to It

For many women, forcing has been a lifelong skill. You push through fatigue. You override hunger – even the need to use the bathroom!  And you've ignored those signs because there’s always something that needs to be done.

During perimenopause, this pattern often becomes exhausting — and painful.

Yet a powerful shift begins when you notice an energy dip and choose to pause instead of power through.

That pause doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be as simple as asking yourself:

• What do I need right now?

• What would feel supportive in this moment?

Sometimes the answer is food. Sometimes it’s movement, rest, or a boundary. Sometimes it’s saying no — or saying not today.

This works because every time you listen and respond, you rebuild or learn to trust yourself. You send your body the message that it’s safe to ask for what it needs — that you’re willing to listen AND follow through.

Over time, you begin moving through your day with less force and more cooperation. You start noticing patterns: when your energy dips, what (and who) drains you, what restores you. You learn how to conserve energy for the people and things that truly matter — instead of spending it trying to meet expectations that no longer fit this season.

Inside Sacred Seeds, we slow this process down together. We explore your unique energy rhythms, identify pressure points in your day, and practice responding in ways that feel realistic and compassionate. Clients often say this is the first time they’ve ever felt permission to re-decide — again and again — what’s worth their energy.

And that permission alone can be deeply relieving.

Strategy #2: Support Your Nervous System Before Trying to “Fix” Hormones

When anxiety rises or energy crashes, it’s easy to assume your hormones are “out of control” and something needs fixing.

But often, your nervous system is simply overwhelmed.

Perimenopause can make your system more sensitive — to stress, noise, demands, even internal pressure. When your nervous system is constantly on high alert, your body struggles to regulate energy, mood, and focus.

This is why awareness is SO important.

When you notice an energy dip or anxious moment and don’t push past it, you create space for your nervous system to settle. Even the smallest supportive actions can help:

• slowing your breath

• grounding through food

• stepping away from stimulation

• offering reassurance instead of self-criticism

As your nervous system calms, many women notice anxiety-like symptoms soften. Heart palpitations ease. Breathing deepens. Mental fog lifts. Energy begins to feel more accessible again.

Inside Sacred Seeds, we look closely at your personal patterns. Certain times of day. Specific triggers. Food timing, stress load, and whether your body is getting enough support to meet its energy needs. Together, we gently experiment — not to control your body, but to understand it.

This process often helps women feel more steady, more present, and more like themselves again — not because everything is perfect, but because they feel supported.

Strategy #3: Redefine What “Healthy” and “Productive” Mean in This Season

One of the hardest parts of perimenopause is the fear that this is permanent.

But perimenopause is a season — and seasons shift.

Just because you wake up exhausted today doesn’t mean the entire day is lost. Just because you don’t feel like yourself this week doesn’t mean you won’t next week.

Holding this perspective gently interrupts the spiral that says, “This is just how I am now.” It creates space to stay engaged with your life — even if things may look different for a while.

Redefining health and productivity in this season may mean:

• doing less, but with more intention

• allowing rest without guilt

• adjusting expectations instead of abandoning them

• staying connected to what (and who) matters, even if it’s slower or softer

Inside the program, we revisit this again and again. Each session, we reflect on what supported you and what didn’t — and we adjust. There’s no rigid plan to follow - because your body is always changing.

Clients often say this ongoing reflection helps them trust the process. They stop chasing a quick fix and begin learning who they are now. Letting go of who they used to be becomes something that’s honored — not rushed or forced — and they don’t have to carry that grief alone anymore.

“But I’m Already Exhausted… How Would I Have Energy for This?”

This is such a common and understandable question.

Many women worry that support will feel like another obligation. But what clients often discover is that our time together feels like a pause — a mini-retreat in the middle of busy lives. A chance to start practicing with choosing themselves first.

Being heard. Slowing down. Having space to explore what could feel more supportive instead of pushing harder. That alone can restore energy!

Over time, women often find boundary-setting becomes easier, energy steadier, and relationships more connected — including intimate ones. Not because they’re trying harder, but because they’re finally supported - by a coach who's 'been there' too.

If You’re Nodding Along Right Now…

If parts of this felt familiar — the fatigue, the anxiety, the grief for who you used to be — I want you to know something important:

You don’t have to figure this out on your own.

Many of the women I work with come to me feeling unsure, disconnected from their bodies, and quietly worried that this is just how life will feel now and forevermore. What they’re often looking for isn’t another hardcore plan to follow — it’s a place to slow down, to be listened to, and to feel supported while learning how to care for themselves in this new season.

That’s exactly what Sacred Seeds Health Coaching was created for.

This is not a program that asks you to push harder, overhaul your life, or add more thing to your plate. It’s a gentle, guided space where we move at your pace, respond to what your body is telling us, and make small, meaningful adjustments that help you feel steadier and more like yourself again.

Women often tell me our sessions feel like a pause they didn’t know they were allowed to take — a chance to breathe, reflect, and feel supported instead of rushed.

What Working Together Can Look Like

Inside Sacred Seeds, we:

• Slow down and notice your unique energy patterns

• Support your nervous system before asking your body to do more

• Adjust week by week, honoring that just like life, this perimenopause season isn’t linear

• Build trust with your body instead of fighting it

• Create boundaries that protect your energy and your relationships

There’s no pressure to be “fixed.” No expectation to perform, lose a bunch of weight or prove anything. Just steady, compassionate support as you reconnect with yourself.

A Gentle Invitation

If feeling more grounded, supported, and like yourself again feels possible and desirable — even just a little — I invite you to take the next step.

You can fill out a short, confidential application to book a FREE call. The call is a chance for us to have a conversation that will help me to hear what you’re navigating specifically, what’s been hardest, and what kind of support would feel most helpful to you right now.

Perimenopause can last for years — and that’s a long time to feel disconnected from yourself and your life.

You deserve support during this season. You deserve to feel heard. AND you deserve to feel like yourself again!

When you’re ready, you'll find me right here.